It's killing me not being able to kiss you at work
by krizue
Summary: Just another story of Adam contemplating the importance of Kim in his life, how she has changed things and how far is he willing to go to maintain their relationship a secret.


**Adam thinking about his relationship with Kim and even how when they have been together for a short time, she is incredibly important for him….**

 **This happens in S02E01(the dialogue at the end it's taken form this episode) and it's just a little glimpse in Ruzek's head and mindset.**

 ** _It's killing me not being able to kiss you at work..._**

It had been a long, long day. Adam was looking forward to just go home and relax with his beautiful girlfriend. Could he call her that? No one knew about their relationship and sometimes it seemed like an affair, something _wrong_ that couldn't be out in the day of light. But she was, and it wasn't. Kim was definitely his girlfriend, a couple of short months after that night he appeared on her front door they were already closer than he had ever been with another human being; and it wasn't _wrong_ or dirty, it was almost the best thing that happened to him.. Almost, because he didn't want to put so much pressure on something so new… so he kept those thoughts to himself… ether way things were moving along quite fast in the confines of their apartments, but sometimes he wanted more… He wanted to be able to go out with her to the movies and hold her hand while strolling down the street; he was surprised the first time he realized he was having such _teenager_ thoughts and desires. (And yes, he was aware that Chicago was a big city, and they could go many places without encountering someone from the precinct, but sometimes he just didn't want to drive across town, and sometimes he just wanted to brag and show her off).

A few years back, hell a few months back he would've thought that spending every night locked in his apartment with a beautiful _willing_ woman was heaven, but now… now he wanted more, he obviously loved spending the night touching her and discovering more about her, especially now that they were comfortable enough to start trying _new_ things, _and really, his girl was willing to try almost everything,_ but it wasn't enough, being with Kim was not about sex, even when it was great… being with Kim was about her laugh, and her kind eyes, it was about how she seemed to know when he was feeling low and needed a shoulder to lean on, and how she enjoyed watching baseball games with her. It was about how the mood changed in a heartbeat, and the levity of a movie night became charged and he swore he could feel electricity in the air between them.

Today was one of those days when he _needed_ her, when he was dying to feel her petit body next to his and have her legs wrapped around his hips… It started the day before, she had an awful day dealing with elderly people fighting over a fence or something like that, then she had a call to an abandoned warehouse that smelled like shit, and something else he couldn't remember… it suffices to say that she wasn't in the mood to sneak around the precinct and he barely got a kiss in the whole damn day, and then what was the use of them working on the same place? And then the next morning he woke up alone, they had been together for a short time, but he was already used to her body warmth next to him in the cold mornings, she had a super early shift and decided to sleep on her apartment without _someone_ to pull her back under the covers, and he got it, she needed to be on Pratt's good graces to be assigned a decent partner, because so far, the people she got paired with were a joke… He honestly didn't understand how some of them graduated the academy.

He was getting ready for the day when he saw her underwear in his laundry basket and felt a pang of longing run through him; he was damned if he wasn't able to kiss her senseless today. He took his time getting ready and planning something for the night, their nights were usually very simple, they ordered some pizza drank a beer and watched a game or a movie, tonight he wanted to do something more for her.. He wasn't one to cook, but decided to buy some pre made lasagnas that needed only to be put on the oven and some wine, something they rarely drank but he knew she loved. Voight hadn't called him in yet, so he decided to go to the store and buy everything he needed for the night; he realized he needed some other items for his place and decided to buy everything while he had time, the list included condoms, but staring at the different choices (He tried to keep variety, last week he bought the ones that were rigged for her pleasure) he grabbed a random one thinking in asking Kim if it was ok f they stop wearing the, she was on the pill, and he definitely wanted to _feel_ her. And once again he was surprised on his thinking when it came to Burgess.

He was with Wendy for years, and he never wanted to risk it, even when she asked why after such a long time they were still using condoms, he just never wanted to take the chance. But with her, he just didn't care, they were both clean, he hadn't been with another woman besides her for a while, and for all her flaws he knew Wendy never cheated on him. And kids… the idea used to scare him shitless, he never wanted to feel weighted down like his father, not that he didn't love him or was grateful; In fact his father was amazing, his mom too…. But he never wanted what they had, never thought he could found appealing the tranquility and familiarity they had. But now, the familiarity he was starting to have with Kim was intriguing and it always left him wanting more… He wasn't no were ready to have kids, he knew she wasn't either; but she was on birth control, he trusted her, and the pros definitely outweighed the cons.

Again he just wanted more than sex… and it was redundant since he was actually thinking about it, about feeling her completely, feeling her warmth and her wetness all against him, and damn, she got so ready so fast and it prided him that he was able to turn her on so completely every time…

Shaking his thoughts he paid for his purchases, left everything in his apartment and headed to the precinct, thanking once again that he never had to go through patrol, and the fact he had lots of freedom to do as he pleased.

His need for her only increased as time passed. He saw her a couple of times through the day and he wanted to jump her every single time! It was getting ridiculous, it's not like he hadn't seen her in days, or haven't had sex in ages… he just wanted her close.

At the end of the day he was exasperated, she had a difficult day and by the short conversation they had at the bottom of the stairs, her new partner was an ass and she had little to no patience to his advances in the precinct. He finished earlier than her and decided to head earlier to his place to get everything ready. Once she arrived he served dinner and wine and tried to talk with her about random topics, anything to get her mind away from work and his new idiotic partner. She insisted on cleaning up and he groped her while she washed the dishes. The tension he felt all day was growing and now that he had her close he couldn't keep his hands away.

 _\- Hey._

 _\- Hey._

 _It's killing me not being able to kiss you at work, - you know that? - Yeah but you can't you know that I'll never make it into Intelligence - if it gets out._

 _\- Yeah, yeah, yeah._

 _I just want you to know that, you know, it kills me having to act like I'm just a guy friend around you._

 _Yeah, but what would you do if you were in my shoes? Would you call Roman out, or would you Burgess._

 _Can we not talk about this guy for just a little bit? Just a little._

 _\- Yeah, sorry._

 _\- All right? - Okay, yeah._

 _\- Okay._

 _\- [Laughs] - Now come here, you._

 _\- To the bedroom!_

 **Hope you enjoyed this silly little thing… And if you can think of a better title, suggestions would be much appreciated.**

 **Drop me a line, and let me know what you thought.**


End file.
